Guilt and Goals

I was just reading a friend’s blog about avoiding procrastination, being organized, and good home management.  What struck me immediately was the total lack of ambition I feel for such lofty goals.  I’m impressed with myself if I manage to get the kids fed and my dishes done by the end of the day!  Oh, and baths once a week are good…and I do enjoy a clean floor now and then.  But really, with four children 5 and under, I don’t expect a whole lot from myself.  Is that good? bad?  indifferent?  Time will tell, I guess…..

Finally

I’ve been working on an article about spiritual considerations for sterilization for a long time.  It’s finally done.

http://hubpages.com/hub/Christian-Considerations-for-Sterilization

It might be published elsewhere, but here it is now.

Goin’ on a Hunt

I’ve been reading some learning disability books lately, and ran across this comparison.  They said that some kids (ADD, etc) are like hunters in a farmers world.  Their skillset, as you might call it, of constantly monitoring the environment (distractability), wandering around (restlesness), etc are actual traits a good hunter might have.  While a good farmer follows things through patiently, a hunter goes off to find the next meal.

I didn’t talk about this at all with my 5-y.o. son.  So when he put a backpack on, grabbed a hat and declared himself ready to go out for a walk/hunt I just said “Ok!” and finished getting my garden ready for winter.  Apparently animals needed hunting, while my garden needed mulching.  Yup.  I think this analogy’s a keeper.  I suspect it will help me keep perspective instead of pulling my hair out.  Now if only I could direct all that energy into something fruitful….

Book recommendation

I just finished reading Susan Schaeffer Macaulay’s “For the Children’s Sake” and it is excellent.  It is a complete introduction and review of the educational methods of Charlotte Mason, whose methods can be applied in either a school or a homeschool environment.  I’m sure most children nowadays would vote to change to it right off after hearing that “school” is to be done by lunch!  There is a great importance attached to outside play and discovery, free time and independent learning.  As I watch most other 5-6 year olds attending school 6-8 hours a day, I wince.  The Mason approach is also very centered on God, recommending the reading of the Bible every day (but not the “preaching” of long sermons to follow!).  An early age distinctive is reading to children a lot, from books that are interesting and “living”, not the standard “twaddle” offered in many textbooks.  I know I loved reading as a child but I don’t think that my interest in reading to my children comes from that.  It’s the “My book first!  No mine!” that ensues as each of my children race to grab one or two of their favorites when I announce that it’s reading time – even my hyper boy sits transfixed.  I think Mason knew what she was talking about, and Macaulay’s book really brings it home for the modern reader.  A thumbs-up!  =D

Patience

Patience.

I’ve been commended for showing patience because I haven’t yelled at my children after 5 minutes of aggravation. I have shown patience when waiting in line and I let the guy in front of me go first. Some days, I even feel patient – the days I start out with prayer. Don’t ask about the other days.

But really, is that very impressive?

I just finished reading Gospel for Asia’s quarterly report. What struck me the most this time was how patient people were. Missionaries travel hours by car, walk hours or even days and finally reach their destination just to turn around and keep going. A family has a demon possessed daughter so the missionaries and workers pray and fast for her…for 3 days. Three days…until she is healed and delivered. Now, not many Christians here in NA pray for release from demonic oppression, but if they did…would they keep going, without food, until the person was free? I confess that I probably wouldn’t.

I think that Westerners in general have a very limited view of what patience really means. We think we’re something special if we don’t lose our tempers at the drop of a hat….or two or three hats. We think we’re showing real character if we’re willing to give up our place in line…once. We forbear to report our neighbors’ dog barking…for two days until the third day “tears it” (as we are $25 poorer to discover). Is this patience???

I know that Nathan and I have rarely been patient while waiting the last year for our house to sell. And it’s still not sold. I am quite sure that God has been trying to teach us many lessons, one of which has been patience (trust, love, more trust, the list keeps going). I wish I could say that we’ve learned many lessons. . .but I’m starting to get a glimmering of what He means when he says patience. Why are we always so dull? Why does it take a sledgehammer to pound in simple truths? Jesus must be perfectly patient.

“Love is patient, love is kind….”

Post-evangelicalism

Nathan was talking to a Christian co-worker who declared himself to be totally “post-modern.”  Nathan told him that he’s passe, the new trend is “post-evangelicalism”!

Post evangelicalism is the latest fad in Christian thought. In one aspect, it takes “Preach Christ at all times and if necessary, use words” to the extreme – somehow all you need to do is have your own private faith and the world will be impressed by your good works and become saved.

Now nobody will argue that good works are bad. Or that living your life as much as possible according to Christ’s example is wrong. But if you expect only your good life to show Christ to the world, you still need to let people know that it is Christ within you who is accomplishing whatever good you do. Otherwise, all they could be learning from your example is moralism or gnosticism/deism – there is a God. They would still be lost in their sins without the blood of Christ.

The saving knowledge of Jesus requires the special knowledge of Jesus found in Scripture, God’s word and the hearing of God’s word in preaching the good news (Jesus’ last command to his disciples). This could be described as the difference between general revelation of God, seen is all His creation, and the special revelation of salvation through Jesus Christ as described in scripture.  Words are necessary.

Post-evangelicalism is really only an excuse to absolve ourselves of the duty to preach Christ. And that is a sin Christ will not be pleased with.

Jonathan’s arrival

I had written this almost 5 years ago right after having Jonathan.  Since the other server will be going down, I’m moving it here.

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It all started Monday (Nov 8 ‘04) night at ~7:30 pm when my water broke…well, trickled is more like it. I called my Mom so she could arrange her flight out, and then played a game with Nathan and his parents (who had come from Waldheim the previous Sat.) until going to bed around 10 pm. Contractions started sometime in the next few hours but I didn’t have to get up til ~4 am. We went to the hospital in the morning, arriving ~11 am, and got situated in our room. My labor continued all day, with me jumping into the tub regularly, but when Noreen (our midwife) checked, my cervix wasn’t dilating at all despite regular contractions. That afternoon she stretched my cervix manually to ~4 cm, and I continued laboring, hoping my cervix was going to get the idea. My labor was what’s called “back labor” because of the baby’s position, making the pain mostly concentrated in my lower back. My skin actually got a rash there because I was asking people to rub it so much. Several hours later that evening, Noreen checked again, and stretched it again to 7 cm since nothing had happened by itself. I labored that night, with my contractions getting regular – lasting 45-60 sec, every few minutes – and using the nitrous oxide gas to relax between contractions, since I had been shaking for hours. When morning came, there had still been no progress. Since it had been ~36 hours since my water had broken, they told me that I had to have an antibiotic/saline drip started, and Noreen highly recommended that they use oxytocin to make the labor stronger. I agreed, and after a few hours of oxytocin-induced contractions, also asked for an epidural. I had been very much opposed to getting one, but at this hospital (Westview in Stony Plain) they offered partial, or “walking” epidurals because they had the staff to allow it (partial epidurals only partially numb the sensations, allowing me to walk and feel the contractions, but they aren’t offered at many hospitals because you have to have a nurse in the room with you the whole time). The epidural was a big relief, allowing me to talk again. Everyone else was happy I’d gotten it too, because they said my face was white and after the epidural I looked normal again. They continued upping the oxytocin concentration, trying to get my labor back on track (one side effect of epidurals is that they slow down your labor a lot), and by 7 pm, when Noreen came to check on me again, my cervix was finally near 9.5 cm. I asked for the epidural to be upped as well, because I was going through the “transition” period, which is when the contraction pain doesn’t stop. Around 8:15 pm I started pushing. This was a lot harder because with the upped epidural dosage I couldn’t use my legs anymore to support myself. I labored on the bed for a while, then they had Nathan support me in the squatting position for a while (strong guy!). Apparently the baby’s position, which was causing the back labor, also was making the pushing that much harder. Eventually the baby’s head was low enough for Noreen to touch it, causing her to comment that she could just pull him out by his hair, he had so much! I got back on the bed and continued pushing, finally getting him out at 10:14 pm, one minute short of the deadline they had for transporting me for an emergency C-section if things weren’t working by then. All in all, from the time my water broke to when Jonathan came out, it took 51 hours. Phew.

Amara’s Arrival

As I write this, Amara’s sucking her thumb and rolling over, or watching the screen.  She’s so big at 4 months now!  She has to be my favorite baby right now. 

This is what I wrote on our personal web page that Geocities won’t be hosting any longer, so I’m moving it here.  Enjoy!

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AMARA ROSE BORN

Weight: 8 lbs 13 oz (4000 grams)
Height: 22.4″ (57 cm)
Head: 14.4″ (36.5 cm)
Name explanation: We became convinced it was a girl early on so we only really considered girls names. I had prayed that God wouldn’t let me get pregnant until at least after August, so when we discovered that I must have conceived around September 1st, it was kind of funny but humbling to realize God’s exact answer to prayer. I wanted a name that meant something like “God’s time is perfect” and looked that up on a baby name search website (behindthename.com, my favorite). It came up with “OGECHUKWUKAMA” which means “God’s time is the best” in Igbo. Well, that was exactly what I was looking for, but ….welll….there was no way we were using that, we can’t even pronounce it! However, I thought it interesting that there was a name with that meaning so I looked up “Igbo”. It’s a people group from southeastern Nigeria. The majority are Christian today, but there is some evidence of a Jewish diaspora affecting Igbo history. I looked up all the Igbo names on the baby website and most use God in their meanings. One name that caught my eye in particular was Amara, which means “grace” in Igbo. I liked the sound of it and mentioned it to Nathan. That’s about all that happened on the name front for the next four months. By the end of the pregnancy, we hadn’t found anything else we liked and came back to Amara, which over time had really grown on us. So we went with that as our tentative first name and started thinking of middle names. One night Nathan came up with Rose and we liked the sound of that, although we bounced several other possibilities around with it. By the time she arrived, Amara Rose was our first choice and that’s what we ended up going with. We like it, and we hope she does too!
One note: other baby names websites link the meaning of “Amara” with eternal or everlasting, attributing it either to Latin or Sanskrit. We think that’s nice too but it’s not why we chose it.

Amara’s birth
Amara’s birth was perfect…and humbling. “Praise God” is the general theme, I think. With our previous births, whether due to complications or other factors, there had been a lot of “interventions” – induction, IV antibiotics, and epidurals. I had always wanted to “make it” to the end without drugs but ended up having them each time. So with birth number four coming up, I chose to stay at the local hospital instead, where epidurals and C-sections aren’t even options. I read up on natural childbirth (again) but didn’t really think about it much, because by this time (number four) I was mostly looking forward to meeting the little one who had been kicking my insides for so long.
Each birth I’ve had has started with my waters breaking, and this time was no different. The only surprising thing was that they broke on the morning of my ultrasound due date, a first for us with our overdue baby history! (LMP due date was three days earlier so she could theoretically have been past due date). We slept as much as possible and called a few people in the morning to warn them (and ask for prayer). Because we’d gone to the hospital too early with previous labors, I wanted to stay home as long as possible this time – I apparently have deep aversions to hospitals and invariably stall my labor just thinking about going to them. So we let the kids know the baby was coming today, then went about our usual routines. Nathan and his dad went and picked up a swingset a friend had offered to give us, so the big news for the day for the kids was the swingset. I went outside and weeded to try to get labor going, since it hadn’t really started yet. By lunchtime I was double-checking “active labor” signs and was pretty sure things had started for real. Nathan dropped off the kids at his parents ~1:30pm and then came home to be with me and time contractions. We left for the hospital ~2:30 when the contractions were getting pretty intense and were about 3.5 min apart. I was actually secretly hoping things would slow down in the car by this point! I’d been “vocalizing” through the contractions and by the time we got to the hospital (20 min) I was getting pretty loud, although the contractions were further apart. By the time Nathan came with the wheelchair to take me in I was yelling! We got into the labor room and the nurse judged me to be about 6-7 cm dilated. She started reminding me to breathe through the contractions instead of yelling. I was asking about drugs and telling Nathan I didn’t think I could do it at this point, and when the nurses said I wasn’t in the “transition” phase I got really discouraged. Turns out I was, because a few minutes later I was getting the urge to push! They went to get the doctor to check me, but by the time he made it to the room there wasn’t even enough time between contractions for him to check me, and then Nathan pointed out that they could see the head. They quickly wheeled me into the next room (delivery) and started rushing to prep for the imminent arrival. It took a few more minutes because Amara decided to stick her hand up by her head, but after the doc rearranged her she popped out. All in all, it was 23 min. from arrival to birth.

I guess that’s why I can call the birth “perfect”. She was safe, it was quick and no interventions were done. But it was also very humbling because I can say that if there had been a needle in range I would’ve jabbed it in myself by the end. Before the birth I’d decided to try ‘natural’ because the only drugs available at the hospital all have side effects for the baby, and I didn’t want that…but by the end I didn’t really care anymore. I’m very grateful for Nathan’s support, he kept telling me I could do it and he told the nurses that I had explicitly said no drugs beforehand. Also, by the time we got there, drugs weren’t even an option because they would’ve compromised the baby’s breathing after birth…but I still wanted something. Very humbling, and I’m very grateful that God only gave me as much as I could endure and so it was a VERY quick transition and delivery. Nathan noticed right off that Amara was more alert and responsive than any of our other children have been after birth, and I think some of that is due to not having any drugs in her system. God is good! =D

Homeschooling, life and God

This is a general update.  Things have been busy…

Nathan was supposed to take his Hebrew midterm last Tuesday.  After studying like mad, he went to the church where he’d arranged to take the test….got the test…and it was in Greek!  They sent the wrong test!  Talk about “It’s all Greek to me!”  So he’s still studying for his Hebrew midterm which he’ll take next week.  He passed his Church History test and now has Intro NT and Hebrew left.  I’ve been helping him study and I think I know the Hebrew alphabet, and definitely some of the vocab.  Almost a 2-for-1 education!

Nathan started working at UPS part time a few weeks ago.  So far so good, and I really like the schedule – he’s home from 10:30 am onwards…’course, he’s leaving for work at 5 am but that seems to work for him.  I can’t imagine doing it!

We’ve been sick the last couple of weeks with a miserable head cold so not much happening on the homeschooling front.  I’ve been doing reading with the kids (good snuggling at least on sick days!) and reading some books myself about homeschooling philosophies and options.  I was in Montessori schools til Grade 4 so I looked into that first.  I like a lot of the ideas but some of the tasks seem like makework compared to what actually happens at home.  I think I’ll incorporate some ideas into our daily routines.  I already adding doing dishes to Eliana’s chores and she really loves it.  The problem is keeping Sophia and Jonathan out of the sink while Elly and I wash!  I have also been looking into Charlotte Mason methods and unit studies.  I’m hoping to read a little more on KONOS curriculum, I think that sounds like the best fit so far for our multi-level kinesthetic group!  I ordered “Get Ready for the Code” and Singapore Math’s Earlybird 1A and 1B books.  I think I need a little more structure than what I’ve been doing so far, but less makework.  We’ll see how it goes.  I’m feeling a lot more committed to homeschooling as the best choice for our children, so the break has been good.

Next weekend (Canadian thanksgiving) we’ll be heading to Edmonton, AB for Amara’s baptism.  It will be very good to see old friends again!  I’m really looking forward to it, and hopefully 3 whole days away from Hebrew will allow Nathan’s brain to congeal. 

Holiness

After an excellent sermon yesterday, came home pondering how to strive for holiness in our daily lives.

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Looks like we’ll be letting go of satellite tv to start.