I don’t think that many of the world’s best writers have been women with a lot of kids. Well, make that women with a lot of kids who also homeschool their kids. Can you imagine? “I want to write the world’s most erudite, insightful novel on the condition of man. I know, I will gather a passel of small children and lock myself away in a small house with them and WRITE.” Ha!
There isn’t anything wrong with that. I, for one, have always believed that you shouldn’t write unless you actually have something to say. And in the midst of the crazy of raising children, it is an accomplishment to even finish a sentence (ha, this particular sentence was just interrupted by child 1 asking if we can make bicycles out of scrap metal for a homeschool project. Answer: No. 😉 ). I assume that most of my homeschooling crazy compatriots are expending most of their energy raising their “magnum opuses”, not writing them. I wonder, how many of the world’s best writers had their mothers as their primary teachers and caregivers? 😀
That is not the reason that I haven’t posted a blog entry for months. Without going into gruesome details, this summer has been extremely hard. And we had nothing to say that we wanted to say publicly. In fact, today marks my “semi-retirement” from full time work cleaning houses to half-time work, half-time staying at home homeschooling the kids. It also marks Nathan’s retirement from full-time caregiving to half-time caregiving, half-time student. And this summer of being away from my kids most of the day has made me realize a few things. First, it is a lot easier to hear your own thoughts when you are alone. Second, most of my thoughts are actually very plebeian. Third, I am an extremely jealous mother. It has been hard missing those precious “firsts” of our youngest baby, even when it is my husband who is seeing them instead of me. And fourth, I never want to be a career woman. I am definitely not cut out for it. Although it has been easy to lose sight of in the stress of raising my kids, I actually do want to be home with them. I am now “aspiring” to be a stay-at-home mom again (full time)!
This past weekend marked 10 years since Nathan and I covenanted with each other and God to walk the path He has laid out for us, together. Both of us struggle with a desire to run away when things get tough, and this summer has been one of the toughest. So for our anniversary, we ran away…together, and with all 5 children and my mother (and 2 dogs)! We went tent-camping in the San Jacinto mountains, near Idyllwild. For three days we mucked about in the dirt, rolled around on air mattresses, went to bed at 8pm and woke up at 6 am (yes – all of us), and remembered what it is like to just breathe. I always wonder what my children will remember about our life. Will this weekend be a memory of splashing in a pool, riding a horse, seeing the views, building dams, climbing rocks? Or will they remember puke, not-their-favorite camp food, hysterics when thunder closed the pool, bee stings, “this is vacation and I don’t have to do chores” arguments, chasing after runaway dogs? I hope to be sitting in my rocker one day hearing them reminisce, chuckling softly to myself at the vagaries of how time sweetens memories.
So. With the new school year upon us, perhaps I will find (carve) some time out to write. Perhaps not. But I hope that you, the random public and family and friends, will perhaps understand a little better if you don’t see a magnum opus of blogging on this site. 😉 Pray for us! 😀
PS – homeschooling does have its advantages. We loved going camping the weekend _after_ Labor Day, it was practically empty and we had the best spot! 😀