I’ve always used writing to help me with hard places in life. 🙂
This week we began homeschooling in earnest, and Nathan began studying/writing full time again (for the last semester, hopefully!). I don’t plan on complaining, but I just need to say – homeschooling is hard. Really Hard. With all the support, planning, help, and preparation I have I guess I kinda thought it might be something that came, if not easily, at least do-ably. And I guess it is coming along, Nathan has been helping me get some perspective on that (he sees progress)…but even at the end of the week I am still feeling AS much or MORE overwhelmed than I did at the beginning. I know that there is a spiritual element of struggle going on as well (you know those kind of things that happen and the only explanation is spiritual attack), but I think I’m struggling mostly with how much I’m struggling. Why isn’t this getting easier or better?? I love our church and my friends and how they help to remind me that only through God’s enabling am I ever going to be able to do the things He calls me to…but I guess I’m at the rubber melting on the road part and feel totally incapable. I need Him, like I’ve always needed Him, but am finding that I am not good turning to Him and finding in Him what I need.
And I just want to say – I am beginning to HATE the comment “Oh, you’re homeschooling, you’re so ______ – I certainly could never do that! I’m just not ______ enough.” PEOPLE – I am not all that either!!!! Don’t say that! Just admit – you don’t want to homeschool! That’s ok, really – I don’t want to either, and if we had any other real alternative that would be ok for our kids we would take it! But our life and our kids right now, at this point of time, means that homeschooling is the only option for them and me. And that’s ok too – but I really really am realizing that this is Really Hard. Please feel free to pray for us, we all need it! 😀