False Pretences

As I was driving today, I think I realized something major.

Many, if not all, of us commit to marriage under false pretences.

We vow to love, honor and obey our spouse – BUT – our prime desire is to BE loved, honored and obeyed ourselves.  So to satisfy that desire, we vow to act that way to another.  It is a very fine line, and most probably an unconscious one….

Does it matter?  Yes.  Apply pressure, take off the gloves, throw in some adversity and unmet expectations, and voila! You have divorce.  Why?  Because the person’s _primary_ desire is not being met in some way that they expected it would be.  If someone married for the prime reason of loving, honoring and obeying (in the general sense) their spouse, and only secondarily for satisfying themselves, then adversity would not break that vow, would it?  (Please note I am only speaking about people who are choosing divorce, not that heartbreaking reality of people being divorced against their choosing).

I think this could be applied to the Christian faith as well.  It is so popular to talk of “Jesus the lover of our soul,” and “Jesus our best friend” and “Being God’s princess” and “God the giver of all good gifts” – but is this why we are Christian?  All those things are true, but is that our primary motivation for loving and serving God?  Or do we love and serve and obey God because _He alone is Worthy and his Holiness Demands it_?  Where are we, relationally, when adversity strikes?  Are we saying to God “Ok, all bets are off, this is NOT working for me!” or are we on our knees saying “You are Holy and Good and you work ALL things for your own glory – Amen!”

Of course, as Christians, we know that God is faithful, even when we are not:

2 Timothy 2:11-13  “The saying is trustworthy, for:

If we have died with him, we will also live with him;
if we endure, we will also reign with him;

if we deny him, he also will deny us;
if we are faithless, he remains faithful– for he cannot deny himself.”

And the best news is that no matter what our sinful nature desires, in Christ we have all the blessings anyways.  For He so loved US, not the other way around.  Amen!

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About nathankathy

Nathan and Katherine Born are two Christians trying to serve God as best they can.
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